


Games you Can't Win

by wesleyfanfiction_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-15
Updated: 2006-05-15
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wesleyfanfiction_archivist/pseuds/wesleyfanfiction_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during season 4. Wesley thinks about his relationship with Lilah and tries to figure out what they have. Wes POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Games you Can't Win

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Versaphile, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [WesleyFanfiction.net](http://fanlore.org/wiki/WesleyFanFiction.Net). Deciding that it needed to have a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact the e-mail address on [WesleyFanfiction.net collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wesleyfanfiction/profile).

Games You Can’t Win

As Wesley opened the door to his apartment and entered he already knew she’d be there.   
She was always there, it was part of their game.  
He didn’t mind, though. At first, he though he was just using Lilah to forgot about Fred, or just for the sex. Or, because he was desperate, or lonely. There were 1000s of reasons that could explain it, and Wesley had tried to, at first. But now, after some weeks he’d given up.   
It was just a game.   
A game he couldn’t win, but also a game ‘she’ couldn’t win.   
It was a game that went on forever and ever, with no ending.   
Sometimes Wesley wondered what it was about. Probably about power, or maybe, about love. Very rarely, after they’d had sex for at least 4 hours straight and she had fallen asleep, Wesley noticed a look on her face.  
A content look.  
He wondered if it was love. That was the only moment he wondered that, because otherwise she wore her mask, she played her role and showed nothing but ‘safe’ emotions. The only moment Lilah was ever vulnerable was when she was asleep in Wesley’s bed. In Wesley’s arms. 

He took off his coat and put it on the couch. He was quite hungry, too, but that could wait. While looking around, he questioned himself how she got in. He shouldn’t, though. No asking questions was another unspoken rule of their game. The game with no winner, but Wesley didn’t mind. He enjoyed their game, it was all he had left at the moment. 

He entered the bedroom and found her already laying on his bed, having taken off the things they wouldn’t need anyway during their always ongoing game. Wesley smirked and closed the door behind him. As he let his eyes wonder over her body, he suddenly got it. Just then, all of a sudden, without wanting it, he had figured it out. This wasn’t about love, it had never been about love. It wasn’t about power either. None of these things.   
This was about understanding, and being understood.  
Lilah knew Wesley. She understood why he did the things he did. He understood her too. But did he know her? Wesley wasn’t sure about that.   
As he walked over to the bed and looked into her eyes, he realised he didn’t care, either. Because after all, it was just a game.   
A game he couldn’t win, perhaps, but definitely a game he enjoyed.


End file.
